Holly’s Humorous Prose

Holly’s Humorous Prose

 

Society tells you you’re doing everything wrong,

and sometimes it may convince you that’s true.

But let me tell you, the expectations of society

are an endless circle.

If you waste time

trying to satisfy all of the people around you,

you will fail.

 

Children are usually viewed as “pure,”

But it doesn’t take long for reality

to hit them in the face.

 

Like when they realize electrical

outlets really aren’t toys

 

Or when mom threatens to spank you,

shes will actually spank you

 

When our lives are so young,

we look up to the older people around us.

I remember when i was young,

I thought people the age of me right now

and older had everything figured out.

 

But let me say,

we don’t.

 

Sometimes i order 20 chicken nuggets,

and only get one sauce. ONE sauce.  

 

I had to retie my left shoe,

and now it feels tighter than

my right shoe.

 

I just want to enjoy my chips,

but i can’t hear the tv over

the crunching.

 

And i ask myself,

Why can’t everything just be perfect?

 

We expect things

from society.

Whether they are things we need,

or just minor conveniences

to make life easier.

We will never be satisfied with

society.

Just like society will never be

satisfied with us.

Growing up, i’ve realized that society

wants you to have the perfect body.

 

You know, i was driving eating my some of my last chicken nuggets,

with NO more sauce might i add,

I saw billboard with a fitness quote.

It said “Don’t give up what you want most, for what you want now.”

And that quote made me stop and think for a minute…

What DO i want most?..

I mean.. right now, i could really use another sauce..

Then i looked over at a girl jogging along the road,

and im straight, but that girl looked really good.

Her body was toned from her calves up to her shoulders,

and she somehow looked like she enjoyed her jog.

I looked down at my thighs,

and i didn’t see a gap.

All i saw was crumbs and and a little sauce on my shirt.

I thought about how that girl running felt,

with her toned and hydrated body.

And i decided, i would try and be healthy.

I mean, i finished my nuggets, my large fry and my shake first,

but after that,

I decided that i want a nice healthy body more than my chicken nuggets with no sauce.

So the next morning,

i woke up bright and early, put on some workout clothes,

and set off for the gym.

I got there, and it felt so foreign to me.

There was people in there,

grunting and moaning to finish their reps.

Theres big buff guys who for some reason between every rep go *mimics breathing*

And just watching them about gave me an asthma attack.

I decided to get started, just doing some basic lifts.

I have to admit, it felt pretty good.

I felt purposeful, and productive.

I stayed there for about 45 mins, and that was plenty for me.

As i was putting my last weights back,

i noticed how bad it smelled in the room..

I paused for a moment,

I looked in the mirror and lifted my arms..

I said “Ohhhh man..”

there was some noticeable circles there.

But hey, i guess this is who i am now.

I can’t help that i’m such a hard worker

I put on some sweats, and my coat and i left the gym.

I get in my car and i’m on my way home,

and i see that billboard again.

“Dont give up what you want most, for what you want now,”

and i said to myself “I know, that’s what i’m doing, i know whats good for me, you don’t gotta tell me,”

So i keep driving and i see mcdonalds… “oooohhh nooo”

I said “no no, holly, this is what you want now but not in the long run, alright?”

And i looked forward and my stomach goes *mimics growling*

I looked at the sign with the big M and i thought

“No no no i can’t”

The turn was getting closer

I looked away from it then but my tummy said *growling*

And i braked real hard *rrrrrr* and all of a sudden..

I was in the drive through..

I was ordering a bacon, egg, sausage, and ham breakfast biscuit..

And a large caramel frappe…

And a large hashbrown…

And a cookie.. Or two…

I decided to turn on the radio,

So i didn’t have to listen to my

embarrasing slopping and slurping.

I turned it on,

“One little slip”

Click.. Okay, it doesn’t mean anything.. Click..

“There’s no going back,”

Click.. Okay one more try..

“You should’ve said no, you shouldve gone home,

You should’ve thought twice before you let it all go,”

*cries* nooooo *slurrrp*

I plowed it down so fast, i went home, and i took a nap..

About two hours later, i woke up from my nap.

I was sore, i was bloaded, i was emotional,

i didn’t want to get up.

I thought about the toned girl running.

I thought about the billboard.

I thought about my guiltful mcdonalds trip.

I told myself, ill try again tomorrow.

I spent the rest of my day alone,

watching the food channel,

the television volume on 85 so i could hear it over my doritos.

The next day, i woke up bright and early again.

I put on some fresh workout clothes,

and went to give this fitness thing another shot.

It was the same as the day before,

moaning, groaning, awkward breathing.

I did my thing, i even wore extra deoderant.

I stayed for about 45 minutes again, then left.

I promised myself, that there would be no more

Guilty mcdonalds trips.

I would go to the grocery store, and buy

Some healthy foods.

I went into Hyvee, and went to the produce.

I was actually doing really good, i was picking out some oranges, apples,

when i heard the above radio..

“All the things we love, like our chicken fried”

*covers ears* no no no no no

NO fried chicken.

But now, i could smell it..

Actually, it was all i could smell.

I had to do it..

I tracked it down with my nose, *sniff* and i put it in the cart.

I said to myself okay holly, but this is the only bad thing you can have.

I went back to the produce, and focused on that.

I wandered around, looking at some more food,

and i heard the radio again..

“Shes my cherry pie,”

*covers ears* no no NO CHERRY PIE.

But it was the same thing again.

I went to the table with pies, and there it was..

A gorgeous cherry pie.

I told myself “It won’t be that bad”

and i put it in the cart.

I grabbed some more healthy food to make

up for the chicken and pie, then i headed to the checkout.

While i was about to be next, i heard the radio again…

“Stop, wait a minute”

And i looked into my cart..

I couldn’t make today like the day before.

This is what i wanted right now,

but not what i wanted the most.

I got out of the line, and i put the chicken and pie back.

I have to admit, it was like putting part of me back..

But i did it. And i felt proud of myself.

And since that day, i’ve actually done a lot better.

Its been a few months, and

Ive learned to eat better,

enjoy my mornings,

and i’ve realized that taking the time to make a meal

just the way I like it, tastes a lot better then

stupid nuggets with not enough sauce.

 

But now that i’m doing better, im facing new problems..

Now that i go to the gym, i have way to much laundry,

and it smells bad

I’ve lost a bit of weight, now i have to go shopping because

my pants are baggy.

And I kinda miss my nuggets Even without the sauce.

But this really is what i want most.

 

Not everything can be perfect.

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